“I’ve got a really tight pussy”………….we have just been waiting for it to come in.

This morning I was at the letter box, waiting for my porn and nickers delivery. Well my jocks turned up; the porn didn’t, but my amex bill did and lo and behold I have been billed for the porn: $97.00……….. Ok so I bulk buy.
I spent the day speculating and finishing the tiling on the plunge pool….. and you ain’t heard the last of it because I have yet to grout the tiles, but for now I have a black jockstrap to wear under my paper over-alls.

Because I live in mortal fear of being glommed I rang PCA (the porn people) just to find where my DVDs had got to. I spoke to a really nice woman, Tammie, who put me on hold, while in the background I could hear another woman extolling the virtues of her cunt which over the next couple of minutes went, apparently, from water tight to moist, before Tammie returned and said ’sorry about that’ and told me there had been a rush on one of the DVDs (Fuck me Blindfolded) that I had ordered, and new stock would be in tomorrow (collectors item apparently)……. jesus I will fall for any bullshit line, we ain’t speaking bespoke videos here. But just so she knew I was really horny I let her know that I would get AMEX to back out the charge if it hadn’t arrived by Monday….. we then chatted about the weather in Darwin. I am reassured to know that phone sex isn’t as stimulating as Tammie’s friend was trying to make it, but I am envious of the Darwin hot weather.

I decided to hit the sauna before dinner time and that gave me time to ruminate over last evening. It went something like this…..
……by 7.30 I was climbing the walls with lust , there were bits of me hanging a right angle to my body , so I took a punt and offered myself to a guy who was on holidays staying in a high rise about 20kms away. This turned into bit of a problem as he responded with the following message u dnt hve a car car 2 nite do u Tongue (emoticon). This sobered me up enough to get my wheels out ( yeah I know) and take a drive to downtown Mooloolabah. Where I find I am about to hit the bed with not one but two guys. They are having a holiday away from the business that they jointly run. I have to be honest and say as I drove to the meet, I was more worried about some-one running a coin down the duco of my car, than meeting some potential sexual psychopath that I knew absolutely nothing about other that his cock was above average and he was uncut……he was and it wasn’t.

Now I am usually a little apprehensive about 3 somes, particularly when the other two are partners…. I often find there is a hidden agenda going, and they usually have their script already sorted, and you are left trying to find which role you are supposed to be playing. At home the approach I use is the ‘let yourself in by the side door in the garage’ …and let them find me and the 3rd for the night already engaged. That way they can see the lie of the land and join in if they feel like it. It is a completely structured ‘unstructured’ experience. Besides it appeals to a being caught being rooted fantasie of mine, and do those fantasies ratchet up the hardness index of my cock.
Back to last night……….
The guys are up from mid NSW and run a B&B there.. so I figure they must have some expertise, if only with a bacon & eggs fry up for afters.

The bottom line is I got rooted, and rooted the taller guy, who invited me for a return bout ata non specific time…. his mate didn’t and for some bizarre reason asked me why I lied about my height in my ‘profile’ …I said i didn’t, he said I did, I said I didn’t….well you get the picture. I hit Burger King on the way home (feed the man meat) and while I was picking the beetroot out of my Aussie Burger I am thinking what the hell was that all about? Part of gay life’s rich tapestry?. Fuck it I had got rid of the bodily fluid build up that I had been holding onto for the porn video occasion… and the burger wasn’t half bad…. and if he can give his mate the slip I would go back for seconds.
Here is an interesting point to ponder …. the taller one called himself Brad…. his life long partner at some stage called him Bruce… WOW I think that relationship has got problems: at least I can remember my partners name.

Tonight all bets are off as I will be watching ’state of origin’ which I am assured is the nude version…. well the audience round my plasma will be….drool!

Naked in the street.

I woke in the middle of the night a little anxious, so I got out of bed and read some online porn for an hour or two…. I have noticed a trend recently where everyone does a disclaimer that says something along the line that…’this is a work of fiction… email me and let me know what you think‘ That completely destroys the horniness factor for me…I want to believe that I am reading some-ones true experience, no matter how bizarre it sounds… so I lost interest and started working on a to do list for the day, of which the two main factors were get laid and work on plunge pool.

I hopped back under the covers about 5.30 am started playing with myself and immediately fell asleep. Is this critique??? even I, piss myself off. By the time I woke up and usually take myself in hand the house was buzzing so I felt I didn’t want to draw any attention to ‘me’.

Whilst I was out to collect the papers I checked my local beat to see if anyone was looking for a meet-up….no. I came home had breakfast, read the papers had two chats on a gay chat line, with guys who were really up for it, but over 1000kms away and hung loose till the Mail delivery woman arrived, hoping either my new porn DVDs or imported underwear would arrive. Mrs mailman shot straight past the letter box, and I imagined a fantasy of her in the front of here 4WD struggling into my new jockstrap and watching ‘Sperm Bank’.

Later in the morning a semi regular who can’t visit because he has flu, well that is what he says, messaged me and we chatted. He asked if I wanted to watch him pull himself off on cam, but I can’t get cam on MSN, so by the time he had download Yahoo and we got the connection working I had passed my peak…. but the man can surely drop a load.

I am being harrassed by a guy who I once met up with for some ‘bush’ sex. He discribed himself as stocky with a wicked sense of humour and an above average size cock…. he turned out to be a fat, sarcastic bastard with a small dick, who proceeded to bitch about whether there were any snakes about, about how New Zealand was a much more friendly place ( so piss back off there you waste of space) and his being bitten by mosquitos…. I came very close to biting his dick off. But I did suggest he could drop round the house sometime if he wanted to (rule number one). He never did and now 2 months later he is hitting me up again… I can’t figure whether he is just fucking stupid and doesn’t remember our last meet, or he thinks I am just stupid and don’t remember our last meet.

When he came online I chatted for oh six words then told him I had some tiling to do……… Being essentially honest I felt obliged to go do the tiling

THE TILING
The much vaunted plunge pool progresses. I mixed the tiling adhesive, I was halfway into the disposable paper overalls, when the neighbors burglar alarm went off and I am the only trusted person at this point of the street to be allowed to sort this problem…. my god if you saw the contents of the other neighbors garbage bins you wouldn’t sleep at night …..all home brand product and empty cheap cask wine. Well the casks are always empty, don’t ask me how I know: it’s a skill.

So I belt up there only to notice there are patches of pubic hair showing through the overalls. WARNING…. never go down sun wearing disposable overalls with nothing underneath. If there was a burglar he was going to take flight at the sight of me all shimmery in the sun, or I was going to get out of the tiling. So the situation is, tile adhesive setting off in bucket , me in flagranto… belting up the street, only to find it is the owners cats. They have had some tiff and been waving semaphore battons at the motion detectors… I sort them out, check that the wine cellar is intact, I discovered one or two bottles of bubbly had been drunk by the felines, and come home to a bucket of quickly setting adhesive; because as you would imagine when you are almost totally in garment divestiture mode, you meet everyone on the street.
I wondered about my transparency, everyone kept me talking so fuck-nose what that means. Social ridicule I should imagine.

I cooked dinner and ‘wined’ down wondering if tonight will bring any joy. During the day I got a very weird comment from some-one about this blog… gotta say one needs to always watch their back.

I am still wheeless so I am depending on a home delivery, so i am pushing the chat room tonight. I’m moving back to virgin status.