The ‘ice’ man go-eth, drugs emotions and fucked up sex.

It seems like ages since I was here… or there, when I read the last blog; but as it happened the next day a regular root of mine said ‘you want some shit?’ and before I knew it I saw my blood draw back into the syringe and then the next 4 months just vanished on me.

The sex was fairly ordinary, but the drug got me through it. He came back…fuck knows why because he didn’t seem to enjoy being fucked up the arse unless we were both off our faces… He seemed intelligent …but hey, who am I to judge. I seemed fairly ‘bright’ till I started shooting this shit up my system. He kept leaving my TXT messages on his phone: his girlfriend kept reading them…… ‘wow’ even I ain’t that stupid to leave my phone or my messages about. She phoned me a couple of times…apparently it was my fault that he kept dropping round for a root: but he kept coming, we kept shooting up till she threw him out. He then started bumming couches off friends, till the friends pissed him off.

On the 27th of this month he is supposed to be sentenced for trafficking. It looks like about a 10 year headline sentence reduced to 6 year. He keeps dropping in, when he is hungry or needs a fuck, and I am trying to be a friend to him. He drives a car that he has ‘borrowed’ from a friend, each time he leaves here he changes the number plates over…. we are just going to shoot up on time more (my plan; he doesn’t know this yet) before I think I can’t afford to sustain the relationship anymore (emotionally) I love the out of control fucking….but hate the out of control emotions as a result of the ice, the sex ain’t that good and my art work is coming back to me so I can’t afford to continue on this track in my life.

Tonight we fucked, he shared a meal with us…..He has just left my house. I watched him change the number plates on the car. He said there was some really good shit about. I didn’t respond, but 20 minutes later I received a TXT message..it said
I could get you some tomorrow if you like.
Talk tomorrow! and thank you again for your generosity.
U

This has decided me…. one more time then I have to clean my act up and get back into work. I am hoping that having got back to my blog will underline my resolve.