Naked in the street.

I woke in the middle of the night a little anxious, so I got out of bed and read some online porn for an hour or two…. I have noticed a trend recently where everyone does a disclaimer that says something along the line that…’this is a work of fiction… email me and let me know what you think‘ That completely destroys the horniness factor for me…I want to believe that I am reading some-ones true experience, no matter how bizarre it sounds… so I lost interest and started working on a to do list for the day, of which the two main factors were get laid and work on plunge pool.

I hopped back under the covers about 5.30 am started playing with myself and immediately fell asleep. Is this critique??? even I, piss myself off. By the time I woke up and usually take myself in hand the house was buzzing so I felt I didn’t want to draw any attention to ‘me’.

Whilst I was out to collect the papers I checked my local beat to see if anyone was looking for a meet-up….no. I came home had breakfast, read the papers had two chats on a gay chat line, with guys who were really up for it, but over 1000kms away and hung loose till the Mail delivery woman arrived, hoping either my new porn DVDs or imported underwear would arrive. Mrs mailman shot straight past the letter box, and I imagined a fantasy of her in the front of here 4WD struggling into my new jockstrap and watching ‘Sperm Bank’.

Later in the morning a semi regular who can’t visit because he has flu, well that is what he says, messaged me and we chatted. He asked if I wanted to watch him pull himself off on cam, but I can’t get cam on MSN, so by the time he had download Yahoo and we got the connection working I had passed my peak…. but the man can surely drop a load.

I am being harrassed by a guy who I once met up with for some ‘bush’ sex. He discribed himself as stocky with a wicked sense of humour and an above average size cock…. he turned out to be a fat, sarcastic bastard with a small dick, who proceeded to bitch about whether there were any snakes about, about how New Zealand was a much more friendly place ( so piss back off there you waste of space) and his being bitten by mosquitos…. I came very close to biting his dick off. But I did suggest he could drop round the house sometime if he wanted to (rule number one). He never did and now 2 months later he is hitting me up again… I can’t figure whether he is just fucking stupid and doesn’t remember our last meet, or he thinks I am just stupid and don’t remember our last meet.

When he came online I chatted for oh six words then told him I had some tiling to do……… Being essentially honest I felt obliged to go do the tiling

THE TILING
The much vaunted plunge pool progresses. I mixed the tiling adhesive, I was halfway into the disposable paper overalls, when the neighbors burglar alarm went off and I am the only trusted person at this point of the street to be allowed to sort this problem…. my god if you saw the contents of the other neighbors garbage bins you wouldn’t sleep at night …..all home brand product and empty cheap cask wine. Well the casks are always empty, don’t ask me how I know: it’s a skill.

So I belt up there only to notice there are patches of pubic hair showing through the overalls. WARNING…. never go down sun wearing disposable overalls with nothing underneath. If there was a burglar he was going to take flight at the sight of me all shimmery in the sun, or I was going to get out of the tiling. So the situation is, tile adhesive setting off in bucket , me in flagranto… belting up the street, only to find it is the owners cats. They have had some tiff and been waving semaphore battons at the motion detectors… I sort them out, check that the wine cellar is intact, I discovered one or two bottles of bubbly had been drunk by the felines, and come home to a bucket of quickly setting adhesive; because as you would imagine when you are almost totally in garment divestiture mode, you meet everyone on the street.
I wondered about my transparency, everyone kept me talking so fuck-nose what that means. Social ridicule I should imagine.

I cooked dinner and ‘wined’ down wondering if tonight will bring any joy. During the day I got a very weird comment from some-one about this blog… gotta say one needs to always watch their back.

I am still wheeless so I am depending on a home delivery, so i am pushing the chat room tonight. I’m moving back to virgin status.