Mercury is going retrograde this week.

Now I want to disavow anyone of the view that sex is all that matters in my life…I do have a sometime career: I am a sometime sculptor (failed at the moment) and a sometime writer of, Spanish, magazine gay porn (currently not working owing to a slight disagreement with my translator …. OK bigtime falling out) most of these short stories are based on my own research. I have a tendency to a tad of hypochondria and I spend a goodly period of the middle of the night in anxiety attacks. I am unashamedly introspective. So in amongst all the hormonal stuff I am going to insert large swatches of my own particular take on life.

I always read my stars in the morning paper, because it gives me a reality check on what a weird place in the animal heirachy the human species inhabits and more particulary in the part of the country where I live… this has to be the counter-cultural wankers heaven. It is all on offer within a short car trip: a place where all your problems can be solved if only you choose the right nostrum. crystals, astrology, colonic irrigation, taro, palm reading, auras….etc. So it is always reassuring to see the priorities got right…. Burma cyclone, China earthquake …. cosmetic surgery, stars and then sport stars. If you start at the back of the paper you can don’t even have to read, it is all sport star pictures. The only reason one would have to pay money for this excuse for a newspaper is the none too subtle homoerotic bent of their sports photographer…… then on to my stars & they are saying ‘Mercury is going retrograde this week‘ Um what the fuck does that mean? but it surely sounds scientific, my lucky colour is fawn and my lovelife is in for a surprise encounter (fingers crossed). At that stage you can dice the paper and not give a stuff for the Burmese or Chinese….. and aint it the truth. I notice BMW sales are at a record high.

Now that is over lets get back to sex. Since I last blogged; any sex I have had has been self serve. I am intrigued by the psychology of casual sex. A large percentage of sexual contact I have is with married men, so weekends tend to be fairly slim pickings, unless they can convince the wife that they are just popping down to the municipal tip to dump some rubbish. I gotta tell you the smell of a rubbish sweaty man doesn’t really do it for me…. while the normal man smells are OK the lingering fragrance of burning tyres, rotting food scraps, and germ infested dust is not a place I want to go. I can honestly say if this was turn on territory I would be down the tip hawking my plumbing amongst the trash, treasure and vermin.

Single guys you would imagine, given a sunny day would be hot to trot… but no. There definitely seems to be a correlation between crap weather and roadside sex. Yesterday, yesterday the weather was crap so that was looking positive, except I didn’t have the car.. I had ‘contact’ with three men that went something like this.

Number one (married) wanted me to drive to his house, I felt lucky that I didn’t have the car, because usually I don’t have an excuse*, because even tho this guy has a cock to really swing on, doing it in the matrimonial bed while the wife is out at one of her charity commitments is a bit spooky to me…. as is ‘doing it’ being overlooked by the family, albeit in photographic form….so that was a no go.
*golden rule: never reject a root you never know when you are gonna be hard up

Number two was a semi regular who invited me too his place for morning tea to watch him build his bath house …. anytime he and I get together for a social/work occassion we end up in bed…. It is hot except he is into pain a little, and this is a semi no go area for me. Digression: My old man used to beat the crap out of me when I was young so I can’t relate to the pain=pleasure crowd. BUT we manage to muddle through my hang-ups on this one. I would have accepted the offer except I had no car, and he lives in the middle of the forest. It would be great place to work out Deliverance type scenarios…. Now there is something I have to work on.

Number three contact was some amazingly well hung lad (mid 20s at a guess) from Mumbai, who came in on my Yahoo chat line, offered me the option to watch him on cam… and then proceeded to wank himself off on camera in what appeared to be a kitchen: in the background I could see what looked like a sink and a stove. After he had cum he asked if I could cam to him. This I found a little disturbing as during his performance I noticed a mature female pass behind him and fill a pot with water. When I asked him who it had been, he said it was his mother…. wow and I think I am sophisticated. So I declined the offer to return the favour, just in case mum was sitting in the kitchen downing her cup of Lapsang Souchong while I was broadcasting my hard-on into the sub-continent. He took it in his stride, and told me he would like to ‘give me the real thing’ when he visited his friend in Melbourne… so I think I am fairly safe.

I was thinking how sexually exciting did I find the cam? oh this wasn’t a first experience, cam and me go back … um, weeks. I am intrigued to find that live video sex I don’t find as arousing as commercial porn ……. a theory I put to the test later in the evening. I am starting to collect a lot of empirical evidence on this phenomenon. Here comes my ‘nobel’ prize.